Kathy-isms

Working as a student with the Department of Housing at the University of Florida made me into a lot of what I am today; I have a much higher potential for success because of that job.  While I was an RA I did very well, but eventually I felt like I was ready to move up the ladder.  I interviewed for a higher position and didn’t get it; I was distraught and felt unappreciated.  I reached out to my boss’s boss’s boss who gave me some helpful pointers and kept me in mind when another opportunity opened up.  Her name is Kathy and she holds a special place not only because she helped me grow but because she had little sayings that still keep me on the right path.  My old housing friends and I lovingly refer to them as Kathy-isms.

5-Minutes early is “on time”

This is not a recommendation to plan on arriving 5 minutes early to prepare for potentially bad traffic.  By Kathy’s standard, if a meeting starts at 4pm, then it should start promptly at 4pm.  You cannot do that if people are still filing in the door, finding their seats, or exchanging pleasantries with their neighbor.  To start a meeting on time (4pm), everyone must arrive on time (3:55pm).  I try really hard to accomplish as much as I can so I routinely lose track of the time.  As of this writing, being 5 minutes early for everything is my new goal.  I may accomplish a tiny bit less, but I will regain my old reputation as Mr. Punctual.

Fake it till you make it

Children will always complain about having to do things they don’t want to do.  Having to eat broccoli will be the most terrible thing they could ever think of happening.  For the rest of us, we feel fortunate to have jobs so we can afford to poison our children with vegetables.  As grown ups, we’ll always have to do things at our job that taste like celery (or maybe even radishes!) but we aren’t children so it is important to control the way we react.  You don’t have to pretend like you are excited, but paint on a smile and say, “I’d be happy to”.  It’s no fun to force people to do things they don’t want to do and your supervisor will greatly appreciate having a low-maintenance employee.  You can read a much more in depth conversation of why it is good to be good to your boss in Good Employees are Hard to Find.

Dress for the job you want, not the job you have

Here is another Kathy-ism that I used to follow everyday but in the past year I’ve really lost my way.  Today I picked up a bunch of nicely pressed shirts from the cleaners so that is soon to change.  Generally speaking, as you move up the ladder your attire becomes more fancy.  If your supervisors see you looking like someone on their level, they’ll be much more likely to pull you up.  How can they be certain you’ll look the part if you still dress as though you’re watching football at home?  And nothing shows that you’re willing to go above and beyond like going above and beyond with your appearance.

When someone throws a party in your honor, you should do them the courtesy of showing up

What your boss calls a party is what you’d call “fundatory” or “mandatory fun”.  You spend all day arguing and being annoyed by your coworkers, the last thing you’d want to do is eat a small piece of cake while making idle (awkward?) conversation.  I find this aversion to fundatory events to be slightly humorous; 99% of the people out there spend 1/2 their day complaining about their job and having to “work” too much.  But then they complain even more heavily when they’re told they can take a little break…they just have to show up and eat cake instead.  {stepping off soap box} The people above you in the global structure know that it is the effort of the entire team, not just one person, that keeps the gears turning.  As a way of saying that you are appreciated, they want to give you a few minutes off and get to know your peers in a friendly setting.  I know we’d really prefer some tickets to Disney World, but do the honorable thing and say “thank you” for the kind gesture.

When you see something and think, “someone should do something about that,” — you are that someone

At one time or another, we have all said this.  Someone should pick up that trash.  Someone should let her know that a leaf is in her hair.  Someone should start a hotdog stand at this busy intersection.  Normally the line goes as quickly as it comes; we assign the duty to a non specific person so we can quickly get back to our activity. Someone should but not me! That fleeting moment is really your time to shine.  Others will notice your initiative and you’ll be surprised the number of times you hear, “oh I was thinking of doing that.”  Taking action on the little things will show others that you’re someone who is in control of their life; you’re not someone who waits for life to happen to you.  I’ve seen many conversations in the workplace where a group will waste 30 minutes discussing some issue that ought to be fixed.  Do everyone a favor and make it happen.  Your coworkers, supervisors, and customers will be happy you did.

Your first thought is for yourself; your second thought is the one you say out loud

I’ve found this Kathy-ism to be quite helpful in arguments or heated discussions.  Let’s say someone made a comment that really pushed your buttons.  Your gut reaction is to quickly shoot back with how much of a jerk this person is.  But as Kathy says, that thought is for you and you alone.  You get to call that person all sorts of unsavory words or whatever it takes to make yourself feel better.  As soon as you’ve vindicated yourself by mentally mistreating your foe, now it is time for thought number two.  Your second thought won’t be as reactive and hopefully be much more constructive.  It should be something like, “what you just said really offends me” or “things are getting heated so let’s take a quick break.”  Resisting the urge to blurt out your first thought will really increase the chances of having something constructive come from a disagreement.

Emails don’t have emotion, they only have the connotation that we assign to them

Have you ever gotten an email from someone that just seems so sarcastic, snooty, or snarky?  Why is that?  Sarcasm really comes from a person’s facial features of the inflection in their voice.  If an email appears with a negative connotation, it is because you put it there.  Maybe you and this person have a history or they are just telling you something you don’t want to hear.  The thing is that we use email a lot in our communication so it is important to get this right.  Most people are poor typists or just to busy to proof read which creates a poorly worded email that has the potential to be misunderstood.  Next time someone sends you an email that sounds like they are trying to incite an argument, pick up the phone and ask them to clarify what they’re asking.  I bet they will be much more kind when you hear their voice.

The more time I spend thinking about the little bits of wisdom that Kathy shares, the more I realize their power.  They’re short, sweet, and easy to remember, but they can also have a profound impact on the way you interact with others.  By learning little things that can improve your potential every day, you will have taken one more step towards infinite happiness.