The Power of a Mentor

I’ve been pouring my heart and soul out to finish my rental property and I’ve neglected so much in my personal life that I feel compelled to take care of those things.  Unfortunately I can’t because my rental still isn’t rented.  On top of that, I’ve been plagued by hiring all sorts of people to help who only delivered meager results.  I finally had someone call me about being a tenant.  After cycling through 2 different companies for a background check, it was finally done and only had 1 little blip.  The renter told me it was coming so I didn’t care much (I like to think honesty still counts for something).  I knew I had more research to do, but I was tired and exclaimed, “good enough!”

Mentor to the Rescue

I told someone (who I look up to) that I’m going to finally have my place rented.  He started asking questions about my future tenant and some of my answers were sketchy.  He didn’t ask questions about things I didn’t know or things I hadn’t thought about.  They were just things that I dismissed because I was too tired to care.  Besides, the report from the background check only mentioned one bad personal check.  There were no evictions which is what I was concerned about.  I also never spoke with the renter’s current landlord because I was given a wrong number.  But again, I didn’t really have the energy to go get the right number.  I was in a hurry to get my “all-done” stamp.

After about 5 minutes of urging from my mentor and 5 minutes of resisting his strong encouragement, I decided to just do a little search of my own.  I was shocked.  In just a few minutes of searching on our county clerk’s website I found 2 different evictions in 2007 alone! There were 56 cases spread between 1986 and 2009.  The cases from the 80s and 90s involved a lot of things like poor driving, assault, battery, and theft.  From 2001 and on the crimes involved a lot of bad check writing and evictions.  For about 10 minutes of effort and $0, I saved myself 35 days and $600 for an eviction process.

If I let this person move into my house, I probably would have been ok.  In a few months I’d probably have a lot more energy and doing an eviction would barely break my stride.  But that logic is about as smart as buying a house with an adjustable rate mortgage.  I might have more energy just like the people with an ARM might have more money.  As another mentor has told me, “Taking a chance because it has a possibility of success is dumb.  Taking a chance because you know it’ll succeed, now that’s smart.”

Mentors and Friends are Different

Robert Kiyosaki describes a friend as someone who is there to empathize with you when you’re sad or celebrate when you’re happy.  He says a mentor is different because a mentor will tell you the truth even when that’s not what you want to hear.  Friends are there to help you feel good about yourself, mentors help you grow.

Friends also tend to be in your peer group.  They have different talents and experiences but they’re generally similar to you.  Mentors typically have already reached the place you’re looking for.  They’re invaluable because 6 months of hard learning can be taught in 1 quick conversation.

Want someone who will tell you your butt looks good in those jeans?  Find a friend.  Want someone who will push you to become what you want and make sure you stay on the shortest possible path towards that goal?  Find a mentor.  I recommend you have both.

Mentors are Tricky

Good friends are hard to find, good mentors are even harder.  Friends hang out with you because you’re cool, funny, or kind.  They call you to do stuff and you call them to do stuff.  Everyone wins.  The mentor/mentee relationship is a little different.  The mentee gets great advice, direction, and help achieving a goal.  The mentor gets to feel good for helping someone.  It’s not that helping someone isn’t an amazing benefit, it’s just hard to find people who appreciate it.  If you have a generally unpleasant personality or take advantage of the mentor’s time, then you’re likely not to have your mentor for long.  Think of a mentor like you do your job; it’s a gift!

To make things even worse, there are a lot of successful people out there who just aren’t cut out to be a mentor.  If they’re afraid to deliver some hard words when you’re already feeling down then they’re really just a wise friend.  Or sometimes they’re successful by chance and don’t really know what it would take to get there again.  It’s a tough road but if you find a person who is interested, willing and able to help you succeed, you will be one step closer towards infinite happiness.